10 years ago

October 23, 2011

Lately I've been having a lot of dreams, that I can actually remember. The recurring theme in all of them is my age, 15. For instance, last night my dream was that I was 15 and taking down all my N'SYNC posters with my boyfriend. It wasn't made up, it was like watching a movie of the day we did that. I still have pictures from it actually. We spent the whole day ripping paper off the wall while we played around with his "new to him" Les Paul guitar. Oh the good ole days. 

The years of 15 and 16 were good ones. Yes I had a grandmother die, and high school geometry nearly sent me into therapy; but in all that age was perfect. If only someone would have convinced me that no other time in your life is quite and wonderful and carefree as the years you begin to drive. The new found freedom made me feel like an adult, heck I so thought I was, but I still had a 10pm curfew. 

I could have died at that age and died happy. I had accomplished all my dreams. Mainly being that I wanted to go to England, which I did at 14. I was just as happy as a clam dancing around my room listening to music too loud and singing too loud. I would take my walkman outside every night to the swing set and listen to Q93's top 8 at 8pm, seriously hoping N'SYNC made the list. 

15 year old Emily would have never thought that 25 year old Emily would one day miss the days of driving around in an old 1991 Dodge Caravan. I seriously hated that car back then. 
I refused to drive that ugly thing. Until my Mom finally got through to me that a new car was not in my future and that I either drove it or they sold it. I was so mortified of the thing that when I first got it I would crouch down at red lights so no one could see me. It didn't have a working radio so we sang everywhere we went, at one time I had actually put my cd player in there. Batteries we not cheap, so it didn't last long. 

It didn't occur to me until I was in the shower that that was 10 years ago. It all seems so recent. Something tell me I will be 35 and doing a similar post about being 25. {sigh}

Oddly enough, I really wish Jeremy could have known me back then. It is amazing what the drama of senior year of high school to junior year of college can do to a person. I not saying I wasn't cynical back then, but I sure packed on the freshmen 15--in cynicism. 

What year do you miss most from your life?