grace when you don't deserve it

I don't know what's gotten into my lately, but I seem to be forgetting everything outside of my work life.

Work is going well, aside from teaching Language at the wrong time today... I feel like I have it together there.

Home?

Not so much.

Here's the run down of how I've been losing my mind. Friday the baby slept great but I kept waking up with anxiety over milk supply and pumping. Saturday the baby slept awful and I wanted to sleep great but had to pump at 2am to start getting my supply back up. Sunday... no good sleep. Monday...

You get the picture.

No good sleep.

Saturday though, I freaked out because I thought I was supposed to bring someone a meal the night before and forgot. I didn't, luckily.

Sunday I tried to leave the nursery with the diaper bag and couldn't figure out what the nursery ladies were talking about... they wanted the bag. Then I went to a friend's  house and changed a poop diaper on the living room floor...and remembered after I had been home for an hour that I left it right on the floor.

Monday is where the foggy memory and lack of sleep got real.

If you follow me on Periscope (@labride) you now what I'm talking about.

I drove around for an entire day with very little gas in the car trying to remember to put gas in the car, fast forward to Monday and I get to work with 4 miles to empty (so says the car) and no time to stop for gas before work.

So after work I pull into a gas station and low and behold... I don't have my wristlet. No wallet. No driver's license. No credit card.

Only a quarter and a penny in the floor board.

Not even enough gas to turn around and go back to work to get money out of my desk.

At this point I'm hoping and praying and wishing and everything else they include in that song... that the gas station has updated their credit card thing and takes Paypal.

I've got Paypal.

They don't have Paypal though.

I told the clerk what happened and she just looks at me like I'm some strange creeper who stands outside begging for money, we all have been approached by the people who scam outside gas stations. I promise I'm not one of them.

So I start calling Jeremy who is roughly 15 miles away, he is on the phone with work and after several back to back calls realizes I need him right now and answers!

He picked the baby up first, because it would have been past time to get him and costing us overtime, and off he comes to rescue me.

And rescue he did.

The man was out in 100 degree weather putting air in my tires on top of the "your sleep deprived wife left the house with no money or gas" issue.

In all my insanity, because I can't for the life of me remember where this post was going since I started it two days ago and the baby has prevented me from finishing it, not once did Jeremy say a cross word at me about it. He happily came to my rescue which cost him as hour of his day (and I have to say he is a busy man and that's why we make a point to have dinner together every night) and on top of what I asked him to do he did even more.

So maybe this post has turned from a laughing at myself to a praising my husband... but after sitting on this incident for a few days it's really made me think this:

Ephesians 5: 22-33 "Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord."...

Maybe it's that we've been reading through "You and Me Forever" by Francis Chan, but that little act of kindness, with zero nagging that could have totally been warranted, made yet another point for why it's easy (as easy can be in this case... which isn't always easy really) to submit to my husband.

The longer we are married, the more we grow in how we treat one another. We have learned to disagree better, even though we still have a long way to go there. However, the big one is acts of kindness towards one another.

I know how much he loves me by how he acts towards me, and I know the spiritual responsibility he has with our little family and I have a lot of respect for what I see him doing to lead us. I don't get showered in expensive things, or lavished in material belongings... we couldn't afford to do that anyway; but I do get showered and lavished in love.

After 7 years of learning to live with one another and how to treat each other I have to say I wouldn't want to go back to our wedding day. I might have liked him a lot then compared to how I feel about him now. I would want to start at right now, because right now is better than the past minutes have even been.

Who knows how this post went from me forgetting to put gas in the car to how easy it is to submit to my husband... but it is what it is.

And I'm about to take advantage of a quiet house for he next few minutes.