Out of My Comfort Zone

Every so often I get that itch to do something, brownies aren't exactly where I'm going with this.

It's more of that God push.

That deep desire to participate in something, but really hoping someone else will do it so you can just participate.

I've had that itch since we left Monroe.  When we were going to First West I was involved with an amazing women's life group and ministry, it was a much needed chance to learn and grow.

And to just be inspired to study the bible.

I got up early one morning during our Women's Retreat to see my "Monroe Mama", as I called her, studying with commentary and a whole host of books just to prepare for Sunday morning. It was the first time I'd ever seen that.

The little things like that benefited me in ways they'll never fully know.

When we got to Thibodaux there wasn't a Women's Ministry in place, but a few of us did what we could to get a bible study going.

It wasn't easy, and it didn't spring into anything much immediately.

But here we are four years later and my good friends in Thib update me on the recent happenings, and when I heard that the Women's Bible Study had a Tea one Saturday and that they were meeting with women in the community it made my heart happy.

That was a lesson I had to learn when we moved. God doesn't always place you in the beginning of something to see it flourish until the end. We had to leave everything there, the youth group being the hardest. I had to learn to be happy to see those ministries grow, even when I couldn't be apart of them.

For some reason after this last move I didn't jump into anything. I also didn't have the pressure of being in a very small church that needed everyone to pitch in.

I joined a couples class, with my imaginary husband (we've rarely been in the same life group for more than a hot minute), and attended a women's bible study the first year we were here.

Then we did a couples bible study.

All in all I really missed being in a women's bible study group. There is just a level of intimacy that you can get to when it's all women that doesn't happen in mixed company.

I sat around waiting for another women's study to open up.

Waiting people, because there was no way God wanted me to teach the thing.

Honestly I thought the two of us had worked out how I wasn't teaching years ago, but he really hasn't taken to listening to me much. (see also those two years I tried to not help Jeremy with youth group and ended up being super involved and loving it in Thibodaux)

Over the past two months though God has been pushing the idea that if I want to be in a bible study of just women so badly maybe I should lead one.

Not that I'm even remotely qualified or confident at the notion, but I couldn't keep waiting.

After mentioning it a few times at our Thursday night Life Group I finally bit the bullet and told one of our pastors that if they were looking for anyone to teach during the fall I would be willing to. At no point in that conversation did I expect him to actually let me do it, but he hooked me up with the sweet lady who is in charge of such things.

I emailed out a group of ladies not really expecting much commitment.

I try to not get excited for fear of being shot down, and let me tell you I was wrong.

Immediately people started responding saying that they would like to be apart of the women's bible study.

To say I was giddy with excitement was an understatement.

The books have now been ordered and I'll be getting the leader guide when it comes in.

Good grief at the excitement! Especially for this lady right here who is not only terrified of praying out loud and speaking, but has been known to have a panic attack doing so.

That just goes to show that God put desires on your heart that are much greater than your fears. I'm stepping way away from my comfort zone on this one but I need to.

Because like my Mama says, don't make a suggestion if you aren't willing to be the one to do it.

It's not often that I share really personal things here anymore, but I thought I would share this to hopefully encourage someone else who might me in my position of wanting so desperately to be involved in something but being too afraid to be that person to lead it up.