on kissing toads...

September 17, 2011

I saw this quote this AM on Pinterest and just HAD to share, because it is so true. At least for my life. Now I haven't spoken much about my man past on here out of respect for the permanent one, but I figured this would make a good excuse. 

I hear single girls all the time complaining about not being married, not having a baby, not having _________. We all forget that at some point everyone was "single", we weren't born married. Furthermore, my parents sure didn't arrange my marriage. I may have been married a few short years, but before that I was in the "dating" scene for years. I dated frogs in addition to a few wolves. I went so far to give the month, date, and year to guys you shouldn't bother telling the time of day. It was all rebellion though, but not from anyone in particular. I was rebelling from myself. 

For years I had dated a really great guy, until we got to college. Then suddenly, everything we knew about each other changed. Our values went in such separate directions. I was dumped. But not really dumped. We still saw each other every chance we got...we just fought about it, and of course held the statement "well we're not dating" whenever something was being done that the other didn't agree with. We should have walked away sooner, but we dallied around until we had not been "dating" but something still "dating" for a solid 6 years. By then we were ready to set the other on fire and haul butt. 

Looking back now, he was a great person and we helped each other survive high school. However, we should have just stayed friends. We were best friends, and we ruined it. 

Next was the charmer, aka the wolf. He could charm you right into any situation your gut was screaming no at. Bad I tell you, bad bad bad! When I finally got the guts to break it off he would essentially stalk the mess out of me. 

Sadly I met J in the middle of that mess. I was as far out as I could get. Be that as it may, I still deep in my guy torn mind saw that J was the good guy. We went for walks and talked about what we wanted to do with our lives, all the while I was constantly reminding him I wanted nothing to do with dating. That worked out well didn't it. Do you have any clue how odd it is to date a "good Christian guy" after dating the nut bags I had followed around during college? When we first met he was living at the BCM and preparing to leave for Africa for 3 weeks on a mission trip. I on the other hand had been out doing the complete opposite. Yet he still wanted to talk to me. He eventually conned me into marrying him, I had nothing better to do so I went with it (Ha, if you heard how he tells how we started dating you would understand why I get my blows in while I can). 

All that being said to make this point to single girls. When I was least expecting it I met a good guy, fell in love, and got married. I am 100% convinced I didn't meet him sooner because if I had I would not have appreciated him. I would have thought he was weird. It took "dating" a whole bunch of substandard nuts to even think "well this may work".  

So date. Just because Mr. Right Now isn't Mr. Right doesn't mean you shouldn't test the water. The idiot you'd never go on another date with just got you one step closer to the right guy and gave you another thing on your long list of likes and don't likes for your one day husband. Also, don't obsess over not being with someone. Enjoy your singleness. Some of the happiest days of my life were spent in my 1-bedroom townhouse as an undergrad student  with my dog. Doing things "my way". 

I didn't meet the right guy until I had decided that I didn't care if I ever met him.