What your husband doesn't tell you.

August 14, 2011


You may claim your relationship has none, but I promise you this, I learned quite differently this weekend.

While we were at the local waterpark sitting at a table, taking a break and sipping our water some ladies walked behind me and made an odd comment. "Is that a rat or a hamster?" They then proceeded to carry on about this so I turned to look, then looked at Jeremy and he of course gave me the reassuring look of "they are just crazy". So I continued to sit ans sip my water. Suddenly movement caught my eye and I looked down to see (I swear on my life) the largest rat/mouse I have ever encountered in person. It sat there   next to me like it was business as usual, in the midst of a super busy waterpark mind you. It sat so long I had a chance to examine its beady eyes, brown fur with highlights of several colors, and its disgustingly long tail. The little monster had to be close to a pound total. Unlike my usual scream, I gasped and picked up my legs.

At this point I knew something was up.

Jeremy did not even look around, he simply threw his bottle directly at the rat...which was behind him. Odd. How did he know where it was without looking? So I asked.

Turned out the black plague carrying monster had been sitting next to me for some time. He was the monster the ladies though was a large hamster. Jeremy, however, when questioned thought it was best not to alert me to the great dane of a rodent sitting next to me so as to keep me from creating a scene.

Aw thanks dear, so glad you were looking out for others at the park by trying to keep my crazy to a minimum.

This then led to questioning of course. I asked what else he had scene in the past 3 years that he hadn't told me about. Turns out...everything. Short from a moose in the living room, he has kept every critter in a mile radius a secret from me.

For example, this past week he saw a snake in the back yard (just now telling me this by the way). He was back there with the dogs. They didn't see it. And now that I know they are as worthless as a cat that doesn't chase mice I will be returning them to their place of origin in hope of acquiring a proper dachshund that actually chases away things. They were breed to be badger dogs originally, they should run off varmint.

But my husband didn't tell me. Nope, he just didn't see the need to alert me to things I am oblivious about. And according to him I don't pay attention to much.

Something tell me I need a cat. A large one that will run off all this mess and make up for the useless lap dogs and secret keeping man at this house.